Cablog

Irrational

Consider this scenario: you're waiting on the footpath at night in the City and spot two taxis approaching, cruising side-by-side in traffic.

It's fair to assume the cab travelling in the kerb lane is yours for the taking. But in these deteriorating economic times it ain't necessarily so.

You raise a hand and immediately the outside cab floors it to cut across the inside cab, aggressively squeezing between vehicles. Then he slams on the brakes to stop at your feet with wisps of blue smoke rising from the tyres.

With no where to got the inside cab also locks up the brakes to narrowly avoid a collision, then flashes the lights in angry protest at losing the fare. So, do you choose him or the kamikaze cabbie?

Rather than walk to the cab behind most people in this situation choose the driver who has pulled off the crazy manoeuvre. Believe it or not.

I'm talking about sober people, too, adults who normally give a damn. Intelligent dudes paid big money to make rational decisions. Plus hip, smart women. They're certainly not blind, or stupid, but they all do it.

I don't get it. Any theories on this are welcome.

Tantrum

The start of a shift involves a myriad of tasks to configure the cab for 12 hours in the saddle. One essential is lowering the stereo bass and treble levels to 35%. This protects the speakers from being blown apart by drunken idiots. I'm forever telling them, 'This ain't no disco!'

Late on Saturday night a drunken moron around 40 years old fell into the front seat and his missus climbed in the back. Immediately he hit the stereo, surfing for pumping tunes and turned it way up.

It was loud but I was confident the pre-shift adjustment could handle the volume at 26/35. So I let it go whilst he back-chatted his missus above the noise. "What about that guy you was talkin' to?", he snarled, then cranked up the volume to drown out her response. This was a nasty drunk...

Rent

When I showed a patrol officer these images of a runner this morning she seemed bemused - bloody cabbies, wasting our time.

Pale-skinned aboriginal, I told her, around 6 ft 2, close cropped hair, light trousers, dark top. I could have added that he listens to 96.1FM.

It's funny but a high percentage of runners do. If they request 96.1 they're more likely to run.

No matter, at least the cops drove around the block and had a look. That's life, paying the 'rent'.

Dogs

There's not much one can do when passengers jump aboard, uninvited, whilst I'm dropping off a fare. The doors are open, I'm stuck in traffic, and vulnerable to whoever spots the cab first. It's the luck of the draw on Saturday night.

My luck ran out this weekend when scumbags caught me unawares by piling in the cab, then doing a runner. Twice in the space of two hours: Star Casino to Malabar ($45), thence Kings Cross to Marrickville ($40).

After a second visit to the police in one night I gave up and went home, three hours early. This plus an hour spent Sunday afternoon downloading camera images...all in all a very expensive weekend.

The only positive note from the sorry affair was witnessing the download process for the first time, and learning our new cameras retain images for three weeks. The excellent picture resolution and lighting make for definitive identification.

Also encouraging news for drivers is that images can be downloaded and police notified at our convenience. The network employs a camera technician who is licensed to download images prior to obtaining a police request. Another hurdle to drivers which has been removed from the process.

If these dogs are known to police thence some active resolve amongst investigators should see a result. Unfortunately, though, front line police don't have a consistent approach to taxi fare evasion.

As experienced in the past, police responses on Saturday night were either helpful or...challenging, literally. “Mate, what exactly do you want us to do?” Um, take fare evasion seriously would be a good starting point.

However that attitude should become redundant once the transport authority adopts Melbourne's regulation of mandatory pre-payment at night. Once that happens - possibly, not until the next cabbie is killed – then these runners, the bane of our lives, should disappear overnight.

A final thought - my last ten runners (four fares) have all being aged over thirty years old. Why? I only demand pre-payment from 'kids' as one doesn't automatically expect older adults to run from taxis. Yet they run just as much as kids run. Strange.

No matter, as I called out to two dogs and a bitch scampering away in the dark the other night, “You don't rob cabbies - that's a dog act!”

OZ Cabbie

The latest edition of OZ Cabbie magazine has some interesting developments:

• moves to ban hands-free mobile phones
• all Aussies cabs to be painted yellow
• mandatory up-front payment
• respect cabbie campaigns wasted
• and of course the jokes page

Prophetic

Reader Ian sends a photo:

Last time I saw Jimmy Little I took this photo. I thought at the time that it was prophetic and that I was unlikely to see him again. T'was a beatiful balmy evening in the gardens in Darwin and that's how I love to remember him RIP.

Woop Woop

Late last night I carried a woman from the domestic Airport to Campbelltown. The trip took 40 minutes down the M5 in little traffic. The fare of $133 cost more than her airfare.

This is what many passengers face when a second airport is built way out at Woop Woop. No one wants to land in Woop Woop, and I ain't going to Woop Woop, either.

To have a airport so close to the hub of the city is a real bonus and the envy of many world cities.Yet out decision makers are stuck in a time warp, unwilling to utilize the potential of the current facility. To make it work properly here's some suggestions...

1) The curfew must go. Every night after 10 pm empty jumbos take off for...Melbourne! Ha, Melbourne has no curfew and allows international carriers to leave when it suits their schedules. That's Sydney's loss and all because of noise.

2) Therefore route all after-hour flights over Botany Bay, as they do for freight planes. Modern planes can take off and land in unfavourable winds, they do it overseas so why not here?

3) Build a third runway into the Bay for international flights. Extend current terminal and facilities for the increased traffic.

4) Redevelop the commencement of Foreshore Drive. There's enough land there for new terminals and infrastructure to service the old third runway, taking the load off the main terminals.

5) Create road tunnels and fly-overs, whatever it takes to provide efficient vehicle access.

6) Get rid of the useless taxi rank marshals and pay staff with foresight to run a seamless passenger dispatch operation. If they can't do that then sack them. It's ain't rocket science, Sydney Airport. Cabbies and passengers hate it.

It's time planners and politicians forgot about Woop Woop and started maximising resources. Time to embrace the 21st century. When in doubt, they should just think: how would Asia do it?

UPDATE: The do-nothing Federal Minister for NIMBYS, Infrastructure and Transport, the man who torpeoded the inner-west motorway link, argues passionately for a second Airport whilst failing to disclose that his inner-west electorate borders the current Airport.

(Disclosure: I'm a constituent of this electorate).

April 5th

April 5th by Elvis & Co, and something special - vale Jimmy Little:

Speed

Saturday was one long run of 'outs', saved only by grinding it out until 5am. Sunday however was one long run of dream connections, each a home run. Yet the most rewarding fare was one of the shortest. A fella in a wheelchair waited at at a suburban railway rank...

Dumb

A dumb passenger stunt involves those sitting behind me who alight by flinging the door wide open, without any regard for passing traffic. These idiots don't seem to realise or care that besides the potential for serious injury they are also responsible for any vehicle damage. In particular mothers featured...